September 24, 2012
The gentleman who bought my lunch PART 1
At first I was taken back by the gentleman who offered to buy my lunch just as I handed the cashier a ten dollar bill. He caught me off guard as I was not expecting someone behind me in line as it was quickly approaching 2:00 and I realized I was taking a late lunch break and the cafeteria was sparse with people. His first words weren't to me but rather to the cashier just to my left, and he spoke over my shoulder offering to purchase my chicken salad and fruit plate. My second reaction was flustered, and I assumed this gentleman expected something of me in return. I was not willing to have to owe something to him, and while I appreciated his gesture, I immediately assumed there was an ultimatum that came along with his offer.
Turns out he did want something from me. He wanted to join me at a near table to converse. I gave another quick glance and determined he appeared rather harmless and obliged in conversation. He wasn't tall for a man, but merely someone of my own height, had a gorgeous smile, full head of dusty brown hair and dressed casually. His eyes were piercing blue and offered a genuine sense of ease about them. He was attractive, but not someone I considered to be my type. He had a boy-next-door quality about him and a gentleness in his voice.
He began the conversation stating he had seen me a few times in the food court during lunch breaks and had finally mustered the courage to introduce himself to me. He had noticed me well before I had ever stopped to notice him. His words were encouraging and emphatic. He had a way about boosting my confidence knowing he spotted me first and, in a sense, I had intrigued him from afar.
I continued conversational banter with him yet I felt a flutter of uneasiness burning inside me. Was I physically attracted to him? Was he my type? Did he expect a one-night stand? What was his motive?
As lunch conversation progressed the pangs of weariness subsided. He had a nice quality about him, yet not something I could pin point. He was pleasant, he smiled, he urged me to talk, he was inquisitive, he was gentle. I found myself letting the barriers of defense begin to unlock one by one. As I checked my watch in efforts not to be late back to the office he grabbed my hand and his eyes drew me in as he asked to see me again and then, just like that, he walked away. As quickly as he appeared behind me at the cashier counter, he vanished into oblivion leaving me seated at a table top meant for two down to an empty chair staring back at me.
He left me in a daze and my mind stunted. We never exchanged phone numbers thus leaving the chances of meeting up difficult to arrange. It appeared this was just another deflated moment that could be chalked up and filed away into my unlucky chronicles of my dating sagas. The luck that follows me - or visceral bullets continuously aiming right into my heart where wounds are still visible from past failed relationships. I shyly collected myself and went about my business cleaning off my tray, grabbing my purse and slowly making my way back to my new office now with a burning pit growing inside my stomach.
Two days went by and the relentless thoughts of self doubt and anger presented themselves in a play continual loop in my mind. He had offered out a piece of him and within seconds retreated and evaporated. I opted to dismiss him and move forward as if I had never met him until a family dinner on Thursday evening. I was conversing with a friend of the family in the midst of supper on the beach. We decided to skip dessert and instead take a walk down to the water's edge before the sun had fully set.
TO BE CONTINUED...