No flies on me.
No pulling the wool over my eyes.
I am no sandwich short of a picnic.
The first three letters of D-I-E-T = DIE.
Suck that in for a minute.
Suck that in like I suck in my FUPA every time I see a hot guy on my daily runs on the neighborhood trail.
So, in my efforts to be more conscious of what I eat, I've turned to eating foods that are not processed, save for the occasional pita chips.
Here's my breakdown of foods that just put me over the edge. And by edge I mean I would have rather eaten cardboard and bologna sandwiches. The last time I ate a bologna sammie I was say, I don't know, 8?
And why is bologna spelled with the word log in it.
Shouldn't it be balonee?
Back to the foods that aren't good for my die-t.
Not quite a cracker. Not quite a chip.
Not quite delicious either.
No dip can help with this nonsensical texture in your mouth.
Oh, what a blessing this is.
Yummy, creamy and heavenly.
If heaven were made up of foods, this would be my go to as soon as I stumbled through the gates of St. Peter.
Save for the mayonaise, the cream, the cheese it's just not part of my daily caloric intake any more.
It goes right to my muffin top.
Speaking of muffins.
I am tired of carrying mine around.
Out with the Fupa and in with the washboard.