Previous chapter can be found here.
The rest of the family followed our lead and skipped dessert for a walk on the beach at sunset. We walked to the edge of the water and let the warm summer waves ripple at our feet. Our heels sunk in as the waves trickled in during low tide. Groups of family members and friends started coupling off and I found myself alone with my mere thoughts watching the sun set over the Pacific, and I yearned for something which had been impossible all my years prior. Younger cousins coupled off with their respective spouses, my brother and sister-in-law dipped their daughter's feet into the water and my parents took a seat back on shore in the sand holding hands.
Even surrounded by my family and a few close friends, I never felt more alone. In a group of twelve plus people, everyone had found their forever love, and I was still dangling with the torment from days prior. Who was this gentleman who randomly insisted he purchase my lunch? Who was the man who intrigued me in conversation at the corporate cafeteria? Why had he asked me out and minutes later evaporated out of my life?
The night was gorgeous and the sun blanketed us with its bountiful colors as it began to set over the edges of the water. Why was I feeling so empty when I was surrounded by the people who love unconditionally? Why was I standing at the edges of earth alone...again? Why was I complaining in my own mind when all I needed to do was look around me and see I had everything I ever needed? Why couldn't I find time to thank God for his blessing instead of criticize myself for reasons of my perpetual solitude? And yet, I couldn't shake a sixth sense I had about the mysterious gentleman. As much as I tried to bury his short memory into deep compartments in my mind, thoughts of him were present and proactive.
I couldn't help but think karma was obviously tormenting me for great
disservices and angst I must have caused people year prior. I kept
recounting mistakes I had made as a child, a teenager, a college
student, a young aspiring career-minded adult. Nothing seemed to add
up as to why I couldn't find my forever love. Mistakes in my career?
In my personal relationships with friends? With strangers? And so, I
kept reasoning with myself that the evils of the universe have it out
for me and my perpetual singledom is something I must give in to.
All of the sudden the waves began to roll in a little harder. The current seemed to increase in strength and something seemed off. The sea was changing right before us and we all stood there in silence as if we were watching something of the paranormal.
TO BE CONTINUED...