July 24, 2012

My unruly arches


I am blessed.
But God didn't bless me with the most perfectly shaped brows.
I have unruly, no good, starting-to-turn-gray-too brows.  They are thick, massive and grow like weeds.  They are not symmetrical either.  Fuckers.  

I'd blame genetics on my lack of perfection, but I think I fucked them up years ago in high school when I let a friend of mine at an over night youth group outing tweeze them for the first time around 3AM.  Let's just chalk that up to the pile of horrid teenage decisions I am known for.

When it comes to my eyebrows, I'd drop my savings account on them if I had to to keep them orderly.  There are times to be frugal.  When it comes to beauty, I splurge.  I have to.  I really, really have to.

So when I found a salon nearby that actually does threading and rumor had it they don't fuck things up, I was sold.  Sold like a fly on poo.  Like a whore on Sunset Blvd.  Like white on rice, like...

Over the last 3 years I've been having them waxed because I didn't trust anyone who wasn't straight-up Persian to thread my brows.  Those women always have the most amazing brows.  Trust me.

I found a gem named Kimmy who did my brows today, and not only did she thread them to perfection, she used about 3 different types of tweezers to get those gnarly strays. 

Funny how after $22+ el-tippo and some brow threading I feel confident in my appearance.  So much so that I indulged in not one but TWO Skinny Cow ice cream bars for dinner. For dinner.

And now my self confidence is in the crapper, and I should have run an extra mile tonight.  But at least when I did run, I had some good-as-crack looking brows.

"Hey, who's that random fat ass chic running in the n'hood?  I don't know, but boy she's got some fan-freaking-tastic eyebrows."



  1. A good eyebrow gal is worth her weight in gold! Love the way you write, this cracked me up while simultaneously having me nod my head in a "YEAH, I GET THAT" kind of way!

    1. Ha! When I was in HOU I for sure found me some good Persian ladies who could do some bad ass threading. In Dallas, hard to find. That's one good reason by HOU is better than DAL, I'll give you that! :)

  2. I know nothing about threading....how is it different than waxing? I used to have the Brooke Shields eyebrows (when she was young) and I too allowed a girl at church camp to tweeze mine....they were lines. OMG...it looked like someone has punched me in each eye. They did grow back...thankfully; however, I think thicker brows look better now!! Would love to see a shot of your threaded brows!!

    1. I prefer threading because I think it is a more accurate shaping technique. I want arched brows and they can get in there with the thread and really shape them unlike the wax where you slab it on and then blindly rip the hairs out. Just a personal preference. I think threading dates back centuries as well in the Persian culture. If it doesn't that little fun fact sounded good as I typed it.

  3. AnonymousJuly 25, 2012

    Threading is AMAZING. In Vancouver, Canada, it only costs $5 or $10 if you know where to go. Definitely only the Persian and East Indian culture knows how to do the deed. Plus they are able thread more than eyebrows....upper lip, chin etc. You name it they can do it and do it well. I do a little maintenance, but go every 3-4 weeks for upkeep. Never have tried waxing....never will. :)

  4. AnonymousJuly 28, 2012

    Your posts always crack me up. I have well shaped, but far too hairy brows. I'm a wax girl myself. But I agree that there is something quite special about having perfect brows, for as long as it lasts.