January 11, 2012

What if I grow old, and ...?

Truth be told here on these here crazy interwebs, some of us successful (?) single folk worry about the future.  Grab a cold beer or a Coke Zero and let me indulge you further and tickle your noggin with things to ponder as I oft do …

Living a perpetual life as a Singleton is fine whilst young and vibrant.   Climbing the corporate ladder for our envious careers, fancy dinners out with friends, girls trips with spa treatments and wine tasting fill our lives in the meantime. But what happens as we grow older and frailer? 

Things that rack my brain and won’t leave me alone:

Instead of a gent running out in the middle of the night to throw a package or two of pads and tampons on the trust ole’ debit card, who’s going to get me Depends if I accidentally run out of them and forget to pick them up after a long night of bridge and iced tea?

What if I fall and can’t get up and the battery on that As Seen on TV remote control that calls 911 is dead?  Who’s going to help me get up and find my walker?

What if when I go completely gray and I dye my hair and it turns purple and then falls out?  Who’s going to call me a pretty lady then?


Who’s going to help me learn the remote control for the TV when technology advances faster than I am able to keep up with it?

What if I’m walking down the sidewalk and my false teeth fall out and I trip on them? 


What if I never find love?   What if I never get to call someone mine?  What if I die alone? 

What then?


  1. Things like this keep me up late at night, too. But instead of begging God for love, I ask the universe to make sure I'm rich enough to be able to hire people for that shit. And hopefully technology will have advanced far enough to understand old-lady speak, like Siri for your whole house or something.

    Hey, btw, I'm hosting a giveaway for a Betsey Johnson clutch! Come enter!

    1. Agh, I re-read that and come off sounding like an asshole. I'm not saying you're begging for love! I think those things, too! I was just trying to be funny and failed.

  2. Oh, Siri for the whole house would be awesome!
    I worry too. I don't want to face things like my parents dying or other major sad events alone. I really don't.
    We just have to keep praying and having faith!!

  3. Let's agree to change each other's 911 remote batteries, mkay?!

  4. The What if game will drive you crazy if you let it. Although I have someone there is no guarantee he'll be there for any of that for me either... don't drive yourself to sleepless nights with these kind of thoughts.