I’ve been dormant and uninterested in blogging over the last nine months. The last three of those months have left me feeling as though I am wading through pudding and grasping for air.
I'm not even sure why I chose to log in today and throw a post together.
I ended my relationship with the person I thought was the absolute love of my life. Our time together was constantly thwarted. We couldn't make things work as much as we both wanted to and our relationship was supposed to be locally-based ended up being more long-distance as time grew on. I gave it everything I had and then some. My pail of patience tipped over and ran away. The dreams I had for the two of us were left at the doorstep and it left me heart broken and empty as if the air was sucked out of my sails.
Funny how life never ends up the way you imagined it. I’m not giving up on those dreams quite yet.
Right now I’m just trying to balance the delicate situation of a parent who is constantly hospitalized and the fear of feeling so alone.
Happiness is a choice and I am desperately trying to replenish my tank. Each day I try and find some time to stop and think about what makes me happy. I’ve dropped to my knees lately asking God to fill my heart and soul with contentment.
So far, my prayers are working. Quietly, but they are working. If ever there was a time in my life to trust in Him, the time is now. The last week has shown me there is more to my life than just me. There is a merciful God working among us and filling our souls.
I don’t know what direction my life will take, but I am working to keep a smile on my face as I embrace it.