On why my dog is an asshole

In regards to submitting my expense report to "corporate", this is an actual email from me to mgmt:

Ok, I really do have a dog that eats homework. I have a half-eaten Office Depot receipt for an external hard drive I purchased for a client job. Do you need the receipt or am I allowed one mulligan this go-around without the receipt and just submit the expense report? The total purchase was $108.24 (incl tax).

My dog is an asshole, and I am sorry I wasn't more careful with her when she jumped on top of my desk and I caught her shredding it (while standing on my keyboard). She seriously sucks and is also slightly insane with a hint of dementia…but whatever, it's no excuse.