September 13, 2012

Where my wine goes

I'm not talking about my whine.  
Because ya'll, I can shove it and leave that for the birds.
Or can I?

I am talking about my wine.
Where does it go?
Stored in my vintage wine rack?
In the fridge for cooling before uncorking?

It goes to my thighs.
My ass.
My waist.
Boy does it.
Even with all the running I've been doing.
The tubage of wine fat won't freaking go away.

The fine commentary on Yahoo! this morning just depressed me beyond belief.
I mean, we all know wine is loaded with sugar.
But, the French drink it and swear it's good for their health.
Doesn't red wine help with cardiovascular diseases?
Can I get an Amen for antioxidants?
Brother, please!

But to compare my beloved Blood of Christ to sugar donut holes.
Well, that just about put me over the top.
So now I'm whining.

And by the way, I haven't had a donut in effing YEARS.
Years people.
I gave that shit up like a whore gave up her virginity.

 I am American Bridget and I suppose in this entry I am whining about wine.  Go figure.


  1. nooo i don't want to read this! i refuse to believe it, actually :)

  2. Replies
    1. Oh thanks, Darling! I just write what comes to me. Mostly about the antics in my life and less about the core me. You folks get a tip of the iceberg, but it helps relieve the stresses of finding myself perpetually single! Appreciate you reading this bloggy blog!

  3. Well . . . that explains my muffin top. Which can hardly be called a muffin top anymore. You are right--that is downright depressing. Especially since I essentially ate 15 mini donuts last night. ;)

    1. Wine helps heal. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

  4. Like a whore give up her virginity, love it! Thanks for making me smile. I'd never give up the wine. Cheers!

    1. Welcome back, I've missed keeping up with you.

    2. Thanks :) Yeah, I've been off my game. This dating thing is somewhat killing me. Is it worth it? That's the question. A glass of wine or two sure takes the edge off.

  5. I wish I liked wine. I saw that same article. It said something like drinking sweet tea was like eating fries. Oops.

  6. Lies, all lies, spread by the nutrition police. (I also belong to the school of thought that says that sex counts as daily cardiovascular exercise if you do it vigorously enough!)

  7. a chemical compound found in red wine called resveratrol has been shown to promote DNA repair, enhance bloodflow to the brain, halt the growth of cancer cells in the colon and prostate. it's also helps keep the heart healthy. however, this is with a small amount of wine weekly; if you down a whole bottle in one night that's a different story.

    wine isn't a major component of weight gain -- the foods we eat are. a lot of foods these days are mass produced and made with horrible and cheap ingredients (a main one being high fructose corn syrup) which packs on the pounds because it's so calorie dense. if you eat a lot of things that have a high glycemic index, you will likely gain weight. even with exercise, a calorie-dense diet will still hinder your ability to shed fat; the average exercise burns under 1000cals but a single meal consisting of foods that have a high GI is often close or more than that! throw in 3 meals a day with these foods and your'e consuming high amounts of calories that even moderate exercise won't counter (not you, but general you).

    it also doesn't help that as we age, our metabolism starts to plummet so we have to work extra hard to take the pounds off. i swear, since i had my daughter, my whore of a metabolism has gone to shit so i have to sweat and grunt like a hideous pig during my workouts. if i worked out like this back in my 20s, i'd be a ripped sheet right now :(

    ps - love the blog :)