If I were to invite some of the most influential or most intriguing folks to dinner, here’s who’d I invite and why. There’s no real essence of strategy and most of my reasons aren’t exactly mature thinking, but this isn’t the real world and I’m allowed to cry at my own party if I want to.
Who doesn’t want a handsome crooner to sooth us with his voice during the prayer and some after dinner drinkage? Rumor has it MB loves a stiff drink (or 4).
Ne Ne Leaks from the Real Housewives of Atlanta
I’d want to ask her why she is always pissed off at people and why she hasn’t been able to remove the stick up her arse in the last couple of seasons. And does she really think being a reality star is being a bonified celebrity? I’d also like to ask her to wear a bra more often.
I’d want to get him really boozed up and see if he’d spill on his true feelings for Monica Lewinsky. Lust or a power effort just because she was there and available? I’d also like to ask him about what it meant to be the leader of the free world and give me the scoopage on what it’s like to wake up in the White House every morning. I’d also ask about Buddy. I’d sit him next to Michael Buble because I bet Bill would bust out the sax and Michael would start-up with some soothing jazzy lyrical.
I’d ask her why Russell Brand always looks like he’s constipated in his pictures. His forehead looks too scrunched up and his eyes look like they’ve gone through one to many rounds of the knife. I’d also like to ask her if the ceremony for better of worse or death due them part in India was worth it. I bet not. I’d also invite her because I’d be curious what color hair she’d show up to the dinner party with. Pink, blue, brown, blonde…it’d be anyone’s guess.
Andy Cohen from the Bravo Network
Who doesn’t love a good-looking Jew who’s charming, hilarious, gay and always has great convo topics. Not to mention he’s got the best late night show around these parts and I secretly dream of being part of his clubhouse one day. And maybe he’d give me a job at the network as producer. I wouldn’t sit him next to Ne Ne Leakes though. Chances are she’s give reason to be hating on him as well and at my party there will no sour pusses.
Only because he’s a spitting replica of my college boyfriend and who doesn’t want hot royalty sitting at your dinner table? I’d make him sit next to me so I could stare into his gorgeous blue eyes all night.
Just because we’d need a punching bag for all-night jokes. And no, you wouldn’t be able to see Russia from my dining table. But she wouldn’t need a passport to get here either. Assuming she still doesn’t have one. I also think she’s really pretty, but I really want to know if the hair bump is actually from the BumpIt? To be even more atrocious, I’d sit her across from Mr. Clinton.
He’d have to walk us through all the foods we’d be dining on and tell us their origination. He’s a world traveler, eater and taste-tester so I’d lean on him for his vast foodie knowledge. Not to mention he’s hilarious and with his dry sense of humor he might be a good fit with Mr. Buble.
Casey Anthony’s Dad
Did she do it?
So there you have it folks. A list of some of the world’s finest (or not) folks I’d invite over for a night of noshing and drinking.
Who I wouldn’t invite:
- Any one of the Kardashians (over-rated, over-exposed). Except, I do like Rob K.
- Kathy Lee Gifford (no one needs more of her beyond the 4th hour of the Today Show)
- Casey Anthony
- Jerry Jones (who needs him or his bad plastic surgery face?)
- The person who neglected and abused my first Native, Tulip.