January 5, 2012

My grown up dinner party

If I were to invite some of the most influential or most intriguing folks to dinner, here’s who’d I invite and why.    There’s no real essence of strategy and most of my reasons aren’t exactly mature thinking, but this isn’t the real world and I’m allowed to cry at my own party if I want to.

Michale Buble
Who doesn’t want a handsome crooner to sooth us with his voice during the prayer and some after dinner drinkage?  Rumor has it MB loves a stiff drink (or 4).

Ne Ne Leaks from the Real Housewives of Atlanta
I’d want to ask her why she is always pissed off at people and why she hasn’t been able to remove the stick up her arse in the last couple of seasons.  And does she really think being a reality star is being a bonified celebrity? I’d also like to ask her to wear a bra more often.

Bill Clinton
I’d want to get him really boozed up and see if he’d spill on his true feelings for Monica Lewinsky.  Lust or a power effort just because she was there and available?  I’d also like to ask him about what it meant to be the leader of the free world and give me the scoopage on  what it’s like to wake up in the White House every morning.  I’d also ask about Buddy.  I’d sit him next to Michael Buble because I bet Bill would bust out the sax and Michael would start-up with some soothing jazzy lyrical.

Katy Perry
I’d ask her why Russell Brand always looks like he’s constipated in his pictures.  His forehead looks too scrunched up and his eyes look like they’ve gone through one to many rounds of the knife.  I’d also like to ask her if the ceremony for better of worse or death due them part in India was worth it.  I bet not.  I’d also invite her because I’d be curious what color hair she’d show up to the dinner party with.  Pink, blue, brown, blonde…it’d be anyone’s guess.

Andy Cohen from the Bravo Network
Who doesn’t love a good-looking Jew who’s charming, hilarious, gay and always has great convo topics.  Not to mention he’s got the best late night show around these parts and I secretly dream of being part of his clubhouse one day.  And maybe he’d give me a job at the network as producer.  I wouldn’t sit him next to Ne Ne Leakes though.  Chances are she’s give reason to be hating on him as well and at my party there will no sour pusses.

Prince Harry
Only because he’s a spitting replica of my college boyfriend and who doesn’t want hot royalty sitting at your dinner table?  I’d make him sit next to me so I could stare into his gorgeous blue eyes all night.

Sarah Palin
Just because we’d need a punching bag for all-night jokes.  And no, you wouldn’t be able to see Russia from my dining table.  But she wouldn’t need a passport to get here either.  Assuming she still doesn’t have one.  I also think she’s really pretty, but I really want to know if the hair bump is actually from the BumpIt?  To be even more atrocious, I’d sit her across from Mr. Clinton.

Anthony Bourdain
He’d have to walk us through all the foods we’d be dining on and tell us their origination.  He’s a world traveler, eater and taste-tester so I’d lean on him for his vast foodie knowledge.  Not to mention he’s hilarious and with his dry sense of humor he might be a good fit with Mr. Buble.

Casey Anthony’s Dad
Did she do it?

So there you have it folks.  A list of some of the world’s finest (or not) folks I’d invite over for a night of noshing and drinking. 

Who I wouldn’t invite:
  • Any one of the Kardashians (over-rated, over-exposed).  Except, I do like Rob K.
  • Kathy Lee Gifford (no one needs more of her beyond the 4th hour of the Today Show)
  • Casey Anthony
  • Jerry Jones (who needs him or his bad plastic surgery face?)
  • The person who neglected and abused my first Native, Tulip.


  1. Where the hell have you been? Busy with real life, I suppose ;)

  2. If Andy Cohen is coming to the party, so am I!!!

    PS - if you can't get Katy Perry there, you could always invite Zooey Deschanel. ; )

  3. Interesting topic! I like most of your choices, although I wouldn't be able to tolerate Sarah Palin's horrid voice (or anything that came out of her mouth), and for some reason or another, Katy Perry annoys the bejeesus outta me. But I love the idea of Clinton at a dinner party. And I'd invite Jax Teller, of course (and then maul him). I'd invite someone really funny, like Stephen Colbert or John Stewart or Daniel Tosh or Margaret Cho. I'm gonna be thinking about this one for a while!

  4. Yesssss, good list. Prince Harry and Bill Clinton would be on my list, too, and of course my forever love, Katy.

  5. Bordain. Great choice. He'd criticize everything as he ate it. Unless it was a giant slab of meat, which I guess he loves.

    Also - totes on NeNe. She's like the 50 foot woman of snide comments.

  6. This is just my kind of dinner party, so you'd also have to invite me! I'd bring the G&T. I'd also like to ask Nene what is with her bizarre ass bendy back & forth pose in her intro this season.