October 8, 2011


Sometimes I just need to wallow in my sh**!
Today is one of those days.

I was at a meet and greet the other evening and someone asked me if I was married.  When I replied, “No, not yet”, I was asked why I was still single?  To which I privately stewed inside. As if being single is such a horrible, leparcy-esque type disease for thirty-something ladies? While standing there wallowing my private anger towards this new acquaintance, I knew she was judging me while at the same time dismissing me because I was not coupled off.   Her face said it all – contorted face turned to a look of sympathy.  I could hear her thinking to herself, “Oh my, I am so thankful I am not in that poor girl’s shoes having to do everything alone”.  As I stood there feeling defeated, I pondered what else could have been bouncing around in her pretty little head:
-       I bet she’s the type of girl who doesn’t date much.
-       I wonder when the last time she had a steady was?
-       She must foster a ton of cats who roam the garage and yard and that’s why she’s still single?
-       Does she have to hire a handy man to help her around the house?
-       Who change’s the oil in her car?
-       Where does she eat dinner?  At the table or in front of the TV?
-       I wonder at this age if she’s ever get married?

Why is it if we are successful, single, thirty-something women, we are dismissed as having something wrong with us?

OK, yeah, I struggle with bad hair days, would like to shed a few pounds and am tired of my wardrobe.  And, OK, a dose of more confidence would help, but I don’t house cats, I get my oil changed regularly, I eat at the dinner table and sometimes in front of the TV and I do date. 

So why the sympathy? My life is as good as they come.   


  1. I completely feel you! I'm not in my thirties yet, but I've been getting this for years in my home town. Like there is something wrong with me because I'm not married and now everyone feels so sorry for me and my pathetic life. Well I don't feel sorry about it--I love my life and if someone comes along, great. If not, oh well. Hang in there girl!


  2. I know. I feel the same way. I don't really like my life right now so luckily people give me some slack for that, but in general, it's like I have a disease they don't want to catch--singelitis. Ugh!

  3. That's ridiculous. This woman is just looking for excuses for her to think herself lucky for being married. Bet you her husband is just a tool in her grand scheme to not be single. Bet her marriage is crap. Bet she gets off on making single women feel like shit. Because they don't have what she has, which probably isn't worth having. Hey, chances are you'll bump into her again in five years and she'll be divorced. Then you can rub it in her face that you waited for the right person and as a result are gloriously happy. Ha.

  4. Dude. Been there so many times...so i got bitter. And then I got better. It's ok to wallow sometimes. I remember thinking that if one more friend is telling me "there is someone out there for you" I was going to strangle them...I even looked into freezing my eggs during that time. for real. Bitter. really bitter;)

  5. Well, the honest part of me feels your pain...especially when I'm hormonal. BUT the fearless side of me says SNAP OUT OF IT! That woman was probably JEALOUS!!! You get to make ALL your own choices, spend your time however you want, never have to check in with someone before buying a pair of expensive shoes or sunglasses, and don't have to worry about leaving the house with spit up on your dress! : )

  6. But maybe, just maybe, she was looking at you with envy. Often we think the 'other side' sees themselves as superior but I know when I wasn't happily married I'd look at single ladies and think 'I bet she has a fabulous life'...truly. Often the looks of sympathy are just masking the insecurity... :)