July 4, 2011

Epitome of online dating grammar

I’m no whiz kid when it comes to grammar and spelling.   I do have some sort of sense to push SPELL/GRAMMAR check on occasion.  Specifically, I went through my Match profile to ensure I didn’t come across looking like a high school drop out who instead smoked pot and hung out at the garage during school hours sniffing around for well, more weed and smokes.

I actually attended class.
Then went back for more.

In my profile I clearly define my MUST HAVES, NICE TO HAVES and GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MEs. 

I can forgive horrific grammar and spelling (on occasion).

  I’m tired of reading profiles stating:

“Can’t date someone that doesn’t know the difference between YOUR and YOU’RE or THEIR and THERE.”

These people may be onto something.   
Maybe I should up the anti on my standards.  

Enter this guy.  
Read the top line.  
The rest might just scare you.

Maybe I should require that potential suitors know the different between WHAT and WAT?   
Wait, there is no such word in the English language as WAT, or is there?   
Does this guy know something I do not?
Has Webster introduced short hand spelling now?  
After all, we are becoming a generation of lazy sloths. 

One time I can forgive. 
 Twice you ARE just a complete moron.
Stay away.   
My father wouldn’t approve anyhow.

Now, I'm just into firing back ridiculous emails to these douchers out there.
It makes good one-day-book-fodder.



  1. Maybe I'm Old Fashioned but I no that I would never be able to get past all of this, but then again Wat do I no ;) Hang in there Ryan !

  2. Oh my gosh. I'd have to run away as fast as humanly possible. There's a difference in being a grammar snob and just not having any good sense.

  3. This looks to be text speak/Twitterspeak...where they only have 160 or less characters.

    You get something like 2000 in a Match ad. There is no need for shortcuts.

    Anyone who posts in text speak is a "pull the reject handle, reject, reject, reject..." in my book. I just cancelled my subscription but may still read ads for the humor.

  4. AnonymousJuly 05, 2011

    "Up the anti"????