April 5, 2011

Flashback of the week

It's an insiders look of the askew things that pop into my noggin as fast as they pop out.  
You should partake too. 
Share the random flashbacks of childhood, 
your demented prepubescent stages, 
uncomfortable first date burps or 
weird smells from your grandma's house. 

I recall one of the two boys who ever asked me out during high school.

A band member asked me to go out with him during my junior year.
The audacity.
I was astonished.  
Not that it was a band member, but that I was being asked out.
Until my junior year, no one had ever asked me to "go out" since 6th grade.  
I was in the midst of experiencing a five year dry spell.

Needless, I politely declined.
I couldn't see myself with a trumpet player.
He was really, really short.
All packaged with a Napoleonic complex.
And had a really southern accent.
Which was high-pitched. 
And, I just wasn't that into him.

Flash forward 15 years later.  
Fathers Day 2007.
My brother and I had flown into town to be at my Pop's bedside while he was recovering from a heart attack.
My mom, brother and I basically lived at the hospital for 10 days.

On Father's Day it was raining and gross out.  
My brother left the hospital to go get a shower and a change of clothes back at the house.
He was obviously driving my Pop's truck.
And was slightly exhausted from an overly emotional week.

Here comes the doozy. . . .
He was pulled over for speeding.
The cop walks up to the driver's side door and takes my brother's drivers license.
He asks my brother why he was "in a hurry".
Josh responded and indicated he was driving home from the hospital to get a fresh change of clothes and a shower.  Explains that we've been camped out there for days. He notices my brother's last name and recognizes it.   Not many people spell Shultz the way we do (sans "C"). He asks Josh if he is by chance Ryan's younger brother.
My brother politely confirms.

Little Man Cop proceeds to slap Josh with a fat ticket and mumbled something about the fact that I didn't go out with him in high school, but to send his regards along.

Little man syndrome.  In all its glory.

Angry Little Man Photo Credit: Via


  1. That picture cracks me up! What an asshole! Get a life dude!

  2. That's hilarious!!! Talk about the need to "move on"?!?! Wow!