September 8, 2011

Anonymous says ...

I received the below email note yesterday, and I wanted to clarify some things for my readers.  99% of the time those who comment on my daily musings are supportive of the content I post.  There's that 1% of comments that can truly sting, especially when attacking personal character.  However, I understand that along with posting in social communities, you take on this very risk.  I get it, I really, really do.
  1. This blog is a very small persona of the person I truly am.  It is one facade of me...the satirical, the cynical, the sarcastic side.  This is not an in-depth dissection into all the various components and life experiences that make me, well me. 
  2. This blog is supposed to be written in the vain of being a Singleton.  End of story.  I don't go into diatribes about my child hood, my upbringing, my career, my other hobbies, etc.  While there are definitely mentions of them in this blog, I don't find the desire to write about those aspects of my life.
  3. This blog is not supposed to be taken 100% serious.  I poke fun of situations, people and often times myself.  Sure, there are some posts that have an edge of seriousness to them (30 Truths) and there are days I write about my inner conflicts surrounding Singledom, but for the most part this blog is supposed to be taken at face value.
  4. I am sorry I lost a reader.  But, I am not sorry about anything I have divulged over the last year of posts.  If I've made one person in the last 12 months chuckle, laugh or piss their panties with my stories, humor or writing style then I have done my job.  If I have made one reader ever think, "hey, I'm not alone" or, "wow, that's happened to me too, I can relate" or "hmmm, she's definitely got some good advice here", then I have also done my job.
  5. If I have offended anyone along the way, my sincerest apologies.  That is and never will be the intent of this portal.

With that being said, I leave my current (dedicated readers) with this to chew on.  If only the person was ballsy enough to provide his/her real handle and/or email address.  So, Anonymous, if you are reading this, below entails my response to your concern(s).

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Celebrity Captions":

I understand a little bit of cynicism, and standing up for what you want. When I first started reading your blog, you were funny. The more I read, the more you come off as a stuck-up bitch. In one post you said you wanted a man who wasn't "worried about the emblem on the front of his car." Then you give that guy shit who had a picture in the Target parking lot in front of his car, because he wasn't impressing you?
You can't have it both ways.
Not to mention how you freak out on people CONSTANTLY. I get that a lot of guys on the online dating sites are creeps, but just attack everyone. The guy who said he had a crush on you, the guy who was three hours late that you proceeded to flip out on because you weren't comfortable enough to go to some parade on your own? Really???

Like attracts like. How you expect to get a kind, giving man when you come off as a rude, selfish bitch is beyond me. You shouldn't have to change yourself, but for God's sake, stop attacking anyone and everyone that tries to approach you. It's a pretty big freaking turn-off.

Maybe if you went out with friends instead of sitting alone at your computer tearing other people to shreds, you could actually find someone who might ALMOST meet your ridiculous standards.

Honestly, I'm not trying to be a total cunt. I feel like you COULD be just have all these walls up and no one is impressive enough to knock them all down. No one is perfect. Assess your own flaws, and remember that life is a bitch. People want a woman who they can relax with, not someone who's going to rip them apart.

I say this sincerely- I really hope whatever needs to click, does, so that you can be happy.

That said, I won't be reading your blog any more. 

Of course, I will take the opportunity within social and public platform to state my rebuttal.

Dear Anonymous,

Wow. You got me. Damn and I figured the blog was all serious all the time. Crap, I've been figured out. What can I say?

Every single post is full of really deep intellectual stuff.  OK so really....

The blog is a persona. The guy who was three hours late to the parade was my ex. The guy taking his picture in front of target was also showing off his luxury car ---- (read) this was the point I made that he felt the need to impress the ladies with a car.  Not my style.  Now do you get the point about how I don't car about the emblem on your ride?

I certainly understand your frustration with the blog but realize these are snippets of time that I write about. These are typically not life altering issues but quirky stupid insignificant things that happen to me.

I've dated a lot of nice gentlemen full of grace and stand-up character, however this blog is about the quirkiness of being single.  Did you get that?  Did you see the header on the blog title?  IT READSA DELICIOUSLY CYNICAL VIEW OF LIFE AS A SINGLETON.  
I am disappointed you are no longer a reader but, I respect your decision to un-commit to this blog. I do wish you weren't anonymous. Which leads me to believe if you won't come forward and acknowledge who you are, there's a slight chance I know you IRL.  If such is the case then you know enough about me to understand this is a satirical blog not meant to be taken seriously. 

Chances are I know you...Chances are I don't.  Needless, I am going to continue being me.  I am going to continue to write about the silly, the absurd, the random, the antics of dating, the ridiculousness of it all.  And if you ever care for a good laugh, maybe you'll come back. 

American Bridget(Jones)


  1. What self respecting female uses the c word to describe ANYTHING???!

  2. @ Nic, I know, right? I mean at least use C U Next Tuesday or something...but that's pretty darn powerful and degrading.

  3. Wow.....that commenter is the bitch! I love ur blog and I'm sure that person is probably going through an ugly divorce or something. Get a life.

  4. I love how nasty people don't have the balls to leave their name or email address. What a jackass. I really hope they're reading this blog post and seeing how lame they are in.

  5. It's tough being single out there and maybe that's hard for Miss Anonymous to understand. If you can't laugh about your dating disasters and be a little wry when it comes to all the jackass guys out there, then what's the point?!? It's easy to get bitter about men and dating when things don't work out or when you have a few bad relationships, but what's great is that you have found a way to make them funny and entertaining, and hopefully make us all feel a little less weird about the ridiculousness of our own dating past and present. Keep doing what you do and write on, or else you may one day become as ugly and bitter as Miss Anonymous herself.

    Your NOT anonymous follower....Taryn :)

  6. That was obviously a man. He's using incredibly common points an argument against a woman. I'm a psychology major, I know this.

    That last sentence is a joke, just fyi. I keep fucking around with these freshmen I have to do a project with... they'll say something really stupid and I'll be like oh, don't worry, that's natural. I know, I'm a psychology major. It's really funny in the situation, but less so here, I guess.

    I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE A BADASS. Keep it up. Fuck 'em!

  7. @ April --- my first reaction was this is a dude as well...which then made me think I knew/know this person. Then I just figured 99% of my readers were chics so I assumed otherwise after a while.

    Thanks for the insight.

  8. Brilliant work my dear. I understand completely - half of Twitter vocally hate my guts and just as I'm about to drink Draino I remember that they have no fucking clue who I actually am and that a blog is just words. Tell them to eat a dick. Your newest fan, Rubes. x

  9. Wow, I bet you took that like a blow to the stomach. Just ignore this stupidity and move on, without looking back. Either Miss Anonymous is smug in a relationship, yet comfort eating pints of ice cream straight out of the tub, or she's actually a guy who hates on all women who've ever broken his heart. Whatever. Girl, you rock.

  10. Ignore that B**** and move on. As far as knowing her or not knowing her, I'm hoping that you don't. It's pretty chickensh** for a friend to anonymously comment on your life via a blog comment.

  11. This person is a serious bitch! I really can't believe she used the "c" word either - Wow, just wow!!! Don't listen to 1 word of hers. Really. DON'T!! She must have an awful life and an awful love life. Bet she hasn't been laid in years!!!

  12. I have the best blogger readers EVA!

  13. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED...this makes me insane. As someone who knows you, loves the way you write, and get's the point of cynical humor, I just want to find your anonymous commenter and punch them in the face!

    Keep doing what you're doing...I believe in you and enjoy your blog!

    PS - once you start getting haters, it means you've made it as a blogger. ; )

  14. That's a dude...a single, bitter, 'it can't be me, it's you', dude. He's projecting his failures and looking for some (mis-guided) reason that he's still alone. Sorry for his lack of success, but if he spent more time truly trying to figure out why and less on blaming others maybe he wouldn't be so miserable, alone or not. You rock Ryan, your blog rocks and we all love you for it! Moving on....