Epic meltdown

There's a bucket list of things I want to check off or master before I turn the ripe old age of 40.  Suffice it to say, I've got 6 years to get my ass into gear and begin crossing off small milestone accomplishments.  Let's just hope that I don't begin with the first item at hand at the age of 39 and then stress my self out over the course of 12 Accomplishment-inducing Months.  Let's hope the little bit of procrastination that was bundled up nicely in my DNA doesn't get the best of me.

I'll share my complete bucket list at a later time when I've gained the inner confidence to put my secret dreams into a public venue and not fear the quiet mocking and smirking I can sense across cyberspace.  However, there is one "goal" I am willing to publicly express with my followers.

I'm 34 and learning to cook. 

I just never had the desire to ever make magic with a souffle, 3-layer gourmet devil's chocolate cake or Thanksgiving turkey.  The thought of touching raw meat absolutely turns my intestines inside out and the gag reflexes start to kick in if I can't cut up meat within 3 minutes after pulling it out of the trusted old fridge.  Besides, cooking for that magic number "1" is just sorta pointless to me.

My microwave has been an instrumental part of my diet over the last decade.  I had heard you can microwave a potato and get that fresh-out-of-the-oven baked potato taste - needless, I was intrigued.  I could cook a potato in record time and not have to wait 35 minutes for it to be a golden brown in the oven?  Genius. 

So, there I was.  In the kitchen with my brand new microwave and my large potato that was soon to be cooked in this modern marvel within record time.  My toppings were patiently waiting on the counter to be loaded onto the steaming potato.

Sadly, I had to Google how long to "cook" a potato in the m-wave.  Finally, after digging through a few food sites with cooking recommendations, I popped that sucker into the new m-wave.  Pushed START and headed back to my office to just check a few emails.

And this my friends, was the output of my cooking adventures.

This is an epic meltdown of not only a potato but pieces of my brand new microwave.  Lovely.

Needless,  1.) Learning to cook might be swiped off my BEFORE 40 BUCKET LIST.

And more importantly, I am pretty sure my grandmothers who always made delicious meals for there loved ones EVERY SINGLE DAY would be mortified to learn the COOKING GENE never made its way into my body.