October 27, 2014

Still Teary

Dear Dad,

It has been five and a half months since you left this mortal place and transcended to Heaven.  There's not a day that goes by where I don't shed at least a couple of tears from the pain of missing you.  I know you wouldn't want that and would want us all to carry on with only happy memories firing through our thoughts.  There are so many wonderful, wonderful memories I have of you. 

I just wanted you to know how proud I am of your courageous battle with heart disease and the agony your body endured until your final breaths.  We watched you battle a few open heart surgeries, many procedures and dozens of IV drips, pokes and prods - all within a seven week time span.  And you handled them all like the true champion you are.  Those last few weeks of being with you in the hospital still flood my mind, but I know in time those memories will be erased by only the happiest of ones. 

Right now we are creeping slowly upon the holiday season and it was always your favorite time of year.  This year is going to be tough and I can't really admit I am looking forward to them without you.  In 37 years, I never spent a Christmas away from you.  This year in my 38th year I will yearn for your hugs, your smile watching you open your presents and the laughter that ensured when you used to sing Thistle Hair the Christmas Bear.

You'll also be missing the birth of your second granddaughter come early December.  But I know you'll be with her as she enters this world and will be with her mom as she is delivered keeping them both safe and sound.

I just miss you so Dad.  So much.  And, I love you more.

I like to remind myself that while I still drip warm tears missing you, it is only because I loved you so much and grief really is a continuation of the love we hold for you.

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